


fears, tell me fears, don't get me started

by tea_at_twilight_time



Category: Super Danganronpa Another 2 - Fandom, sdra2 - Fandom
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Non-Sexual Age Play, Pacifiers, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Stuffed Toys, also it's not super relevant but nikei is chubby in this fic, an epic cringe lol compilation or something, but screw it honestly writing this cheered me up, caregiver!emma, caregiver!hajime and little!iroha appear briefly at the end, honestly i'm a little worried this is gonna end up on tumblr in like., i wasn't in a good place when i started writing it, just. imagine him. he's baby, little!nikei, that's better, void family void family, wait i forgot - Freeform, yeahh this one is kinda sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 15:54:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20677982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tea_at_twilight_time/pseuds/tea_at_twilight_time
Summary: emma helps bring nikei down from a panic attack.





	fears, tell me fears, don't get me started

**Author's Note:**

> so, i found a new fangan to infect with my bullshit lmao 
> 
> tbh, i'm considering this an early birthday present to myself because i've just been having a shitty few days. like, clinically depressed, who cares if i make it to tomorrow shitty days. as of now, i'm feeling a lot better, but i'm still, y'know. trying to look out for myself. writing this made me feel a lot better, though 
> 
> if i get judged for it than fuck it 
> 
> title's from oh klahoma by jack stauber

"Who's my baby?" 

Nikei stares up at Emma with wide, wet eyes, retreating further into the space behind the couch. It's a tight squeeze, given that there's not much room back there (heck, Iroha can barely fit in that space), but somehow, in his panic, Nikei has managed. He makes a whimpering sound in response to her question, wrapping his arms tightly around his trembling self. 

"It's you!" Emma coos anyway, smiling sweetly at him. "You're my baby! You're my sweet baby boy!" She croons, offering out a hand to him. "Won't you come out, my little Nikei-chan?" 

For a moment, Nikei seems to consider it, twitching like he's about to move closer. However, suddenly, something comes over him, and he wails softly, curling back in on himself. 

Emma sighs gently, allowing herself a moment to show her exhaustion. Nikei is...a bit of a handful, to say the least. Actually, he's a lot of a handful. He can't seem to decide whether he wants to let Emma and Hajime take care of him, or if he wants absolutely nothing to do with them. He fusses and throws fits when they try to feed or change him, but he also sobs his little heart out when they try to leave him to play alone. He's very contrary, for sure. 

She's never seen him like this before, though. 

He's never _ cowered _ from her before, like he's anticipating that she's gonna hurt him. She's not sure what exactly caused him to react like this, and she can't really ask him when he's curled up in between the wall and their couch. Which is why she’s doing her best to draw him out. 

Her cooing doesn't seem to be doing much, though. Time for a new plan. She grabs a blue plush puppy with brown ears, holding it in front of her face and giving him a little shake. 

"Nikei-chaaaan! It's Yuu here! Won't you come on out of there?" she coos in a perfect imitation of a child's voice. It's her designated voice for this plushy, she has one for each of Nikei and Iroha's stuffed animals. 

"N...nnh...noooo..." 

Well, at least she's getting a response. "Ehhh? Why not?" 

There's a whimper, and Emma peeks up from behind the stuffy to see him with his fingers entangled in his hair and his face buried in his knees. "C-can't..." 

"Are you stuck?" 

She does get a little giggle for that. That's encouraging, even if it is a choked, sad little sound. 

"N-noooo..." he moans, slipping his fingers in his mouth. "Nuh stuck..." 

"Then why can't you come out, sweetie?" 

There's a long silence. Then, a soft whimper escapes him, and he lets out a sob. 

"S-scared..." 

Well, Emma had been able to figure out that much. It's kind of obvious, based on the way he'd rushed off and curled up in the hardest place to get to. It's odd to see her little boy so terrified, and more than a little heartbreaking as well. Normally, if Nikei is upset in any capacity, he's angry. He's her little brat, and seeing him like this just...hurts so badly to see. 

She lets Yuu drop into her lap, a frown falling across her lips. "Why're you scared, baby?" 

Nikei lifts his head, his fingers in his mouth, red face, wet cheeks. He inhales sharply, scrubbing his face with the heel of his palm. 

"H-hear’...sh-she..." he starts, before hiccuping and wiping his eyes. "She gon' hur' me 'gain..." 

Emma's heart clenches, and she winces. Well, that feels...familiar. Nikei doesn't talk about his past much, but from what little he's divulged when he's helped her through her own flashbacks, it wasn't pretty. 

"Nikei-chan..." she murmurs, swallowing back a lump in her throat. No, not a good time, she can't let herself remember. The last thing she needs is for her baby to see her have a seizure. "Nikei-chan, she's not here. Whoever she is, she can't get you, baby." 

Nikei sobs, shifting uncomfortably against the wall. He stares at her with wide, scared eyes, looking uncertain if he believes her. 

Emma sighs, biting her bottom lip. _ There's no way he's comfortable back there_, she thinks, gently drumming her fingers against the wall. 

"I promise. It's just us. You and me," she tries to assure him, her chest tightening more and more with each word. "And the only people who'll come here are Hajime-san and Iroha-chan, when they get back from the park." 

Nikei's eyes dart around anxiously, and he shifts again, letting out a low whine. "Emma..." 

"It's not comfortable there, is it?" Emma croons, trying her soft sing-song again. She extends a hand, twitching her fingers to try and draw him out. "C'mere. Emma'll protect you, okay?" 

Nikei hesitates for another moment, before letting out a low groan. He wipes his slobbery fingers on his clothes, before squirming his way over to her, apparently having enough of his self inflicted entrapment. 

"How'd you even get back here...?" Emma murmurs, handing him Yuu and tugging him into her lap the moment she's able to. She wraps her arms tightly around him, before scooping him up and carrying him over to the couch. He's a little heavy for her, but she's strong enough to carry him the short distance. She settles down on the cushions, cradling him in her lap and rocking him slightly. "Everything's alright, love. I'm here." 

"'ma," he mumbles, shivering and burying his face into her shoulder. He holds Yuu close to his chest, tears spilling over his eyelashes again, his fingers traveling back toward his mouth. 

"Ah..." Emma leans forward, grabbing a pacifier off the coffee table. She holds it in front of his mouth before his fingers can reach there, and Nikei lets her slip it in. 

He grunts softly in a way that seemed to express gratitude, and he uses his fingers instead to clutch onto her shoulder, his body twitching as he cries quietly into her neck. She rocks him back and forth, pressing tender kisses to his temple and running her fingers through his hair. 

"Ssshh. It's okay, sweetie," she murmurs, her lips brushing over his outer ear. He shivers in response. "I've got you. I'm here." 

He clings somehow tighter to her, hiccuping softly behind his paci. His tears soak into her shoulder, creating a damp patch on her sweater, but she doesn't really mind. She lets her baby cry himself out, holding him and petting his hair and rubbing his back until his sobbing finally slows down. He peeks up at her with puffy red eyes, a few tears trailing down his pink-tinted, pudgy little cheeks. She can't resist the urge to kiss them away, gently pressing her lips to his soft skin. 

"Mommy," he mumbles as he leans into her touch, the word barely recognizable around his pacifier. She almost didn't catch it, too busy peppering his wet face with kisses. 

However, the moment the word properly processes, she pauses. Nikei looks confused as her kissing comes to a brief stop, and he lets out a whine, grabbing one of her cheeks and tugging her forward insistently. 

"Oh, sorry, dear," she says with a weak chuckle, punctuating her words with a kiss to the forehead. "Mommy, huh? You've never called me that before..." 

Nikei's cheeks turn pinker, and he grumbles something, knocking his forehead against hers. He's still clutching Yuu to his chest, but he still has a hand free to reach over and pull lightly at a strand of her hair. 

Emma chuckles softly, pressing their foreheads together. "Now that I think about it, you've never let me hold you like this before either...at least not for this long..." 

Nikei shifts, very deliberately focusing on playing with her hair. Despite the fact that he's right in front of her face, he refuses to look her in the eye. Of course, that's not really that unusual. He's not really one for eye contact, at least not when he's small and vulnerable like this. 

"It's alright, dear," she coos, rubbing circles into his back with her fingertips. "It's nice, though, isn't it?" 

"Mmph..." Nikei grunts, before nodding, clinging tighter to her. He knocks his pacifiered mouth against her lips in a kiss of sorts, before slumping against her in exhaustion. 

"Awww...my baby..." she hums, giving him a tight squeeze. It seems that he's exhausted himself in his panic, and it's not entirely unlikely that he'll fall asleep soon. 

It might not be a great time to ask this, but... 

"Nikei-chan? Can I ask you something?" 

Nikei grunts in response, lifting his head slightly. She supposes that's his way of saying yes right now. She smiles sadly down at him, letting out a sigh. 

"If it's alright...can you tell…” she starts, before pausing. Then, she gives him a small, sad smile. “Can you tell _ Mommy _ what reminded you of... _ her_?" 

It's like the breath gets knocked out of him. Literally. Emma can see him visibly stop breathing, and she loses her breath as well, reaching up to rub at his back and chest. 

"You don't have to tell me," she says quickly, adjusting him in her lap to hold him somehow closer. "I just wanted to know so I could avoid hurting you later, but if it hurts to much to talk about it, you don't have to, alright?" 

He takes a deep breath, only for it to stutter out again. Tears threaten at the corners of his eyes, and he clings to her with shaking hands. 

"Breathe, baby," she murmurs. "Inhale, one, two, three, four..." 

She coaches him through his breathing for a few moments, until he's finally calmed back down. He whimpers, and she makes a mental note to ask him about this later, maybe when he's not so small and still reeling from his panic. 

"I'm sorry, sweetie. That was too soon, wasn't it?" she murmurs, pressing a long, lingering kiss to his forehead. 

Nikei coos sadly, staring down at Yuu, who'd fallen into his lap at some point. He picks the plush back up and holds him to his chest, before turning his sad, vacant eyes on Emma. 

"My little one..." she coos, bouncing him lightly in her lap. She brushes back his bangs and presses a kiss to the bridge of his nose, before giving him a soft smile. "How about Mommy fixes you a bottle and then you can take a nap with her?" 

Another whimper escapes the back of his throat, and he nods, mumbling a soft, "Mommy..." 

"Yeah, baby," she murmurs, slipping her hand under his bottom and scooping him up. She's glad she's decided to lean into the Mommy name. She just hopes he doesn't take it back when he's more lucid. "I'm gonna take care of you, little one." 

* * *

One bottle of warm almond milk, three double chocolate chip cookies (she just couldn't resist spoiling him), and one change later, Emma has found herself in her room, curled up in the bed with Nikei sleeping peacefully in her arms, his head on her chest. Yuu is squished in between them, pressed between Nikei's chest and her side, one of Nikei's arms draped over him and clutching onto Emma's pajama shirt. 

She lets out a sigh as she runs her fingers through his hair, dropping a kiss on the crown of his head. It's likely that the moment Nikei wakes up, he's going to revert back to his usual irritable, bratty self, so she's decided to relish this moment where he's decided to be cuddly. 

Of course, she doesn't want to make it seem like grateful that he had a panic attack. That was probably one of the worst things she's ever experienced as a caregiver, ever (and that's counting the time Nikei had decided to eat all of her lipstick and then threw it all back up onto her bed). Even though she'd often wish her baby would be more snuggly with her, this was an awful way for that to happen. 

But it's still nice to get this moment, regardless of how it came to fruition. She cradles the back of his head, running her thumb over his soft, sweaty hair. He's probably due for a bath soon... 

"Oh. There you guys are." 

Emma looks up, surprised to see Hajime standing in her doorway with a sleeping Iroha in his arms. She'd been so caught up in her thoughts, she hadn't even realized her door had been opened. She supposes that's a testament to how safe she feels in their apartment, that she hadn't felt the need to be hyper vigilant about that sort of thing. 

"Hey," she hums softly, putting a finger to her lips to signal that the baby she's holding is sleeping too. It's a bit of a futile gesture, given that Hajime is already talking softly to avoid waking the child sleeping in _ his _ arms, but she felt the need to make it anyway. 

Thankfully, Hajime doesn't bring any of that up. He merely smiles, taking a few steps into her room. "Hey there. You got our little monster to take a nap, huh?" 

Emma smiles weakly, giving Nikei a little squeeze. "He's...had a bit of a rough day," she explains simply, a sad look coming over her eyes. 

"Oh," Hajime murmurs, subconsciously holding Iroha a little closer. "More irritable than usual? Or something worse?" 

"Definitely worse," Emma says, forcing a casual tone. "I can explain later..." 

Hajime grimaces, and it's hard to tell where he's looking by his sunglasses. "Ah, shit. I'm sorry, I feel like I should've been here..." 

"No, it's alright. I hope you guys had fun," Emma hums, smiling a little more genuinely. She looks down at Nikei, a soft feeling swelling in her chest. "He called me mommy today." 

"Really?" Hajime's voice is astonished, full of awe and adoration. He bounces Iroha lightly in his arms, a small grin coming over his face. "That's...kind of incredible." 

"I know...I just hope he keeps it up when he wakes up again," Emma says softly, pressing a kiss to Nikei's forehead. 

"Aww. I hope so too," Hajime murmurs, his features soft. 

The two of them go quiet for a moment, seeming to reflect on this. Then, Iroha yawns, rolling over in Hajime's arms and nuzzling against his chest in her sleep. 

"...I'm going to get this one into bed," he says with a soft laugh, giving the girl a gentle squeeze. "We'll talk later, yeah?" 

"Of course," Emma agrees, letting out a snort of her own. "It's family nap time." 

"Yeah. Family nap time," he says, nodding and letting out another chuckle. "You two sleep well, okay?" 

"We will," she assures him, smiling softly down at Nikei. "You guys too, alright?" 

"Of course," Hajime murmurs, shooting her one last smile. He hikes Iroha up higher against his chest, pulling the door shut as he walks off toward her room. 

Emma sighs softly, pressing a kiss to Nikei's head. She snuggles back against the pillows with a smile, letting her eyes fall closed. The gentle rise and fall of Nikei’s chest, as well as his soft suckling on his pacifier, quickly lulls her to sleep as well.

**Author's Note:**

> this is the quickest i've gotten something posted since starting writing it, i think. i'm kinda proud 
> 
> anyway pls comment and give me birthday wishes if you give me nothing else (jk you don't gotta do anything but they'd be appreciated! :'0)


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